A letter to Ten Year Old Me

When I was ten years old, I saw the world through a lens of wonder.

What I did not predict back then was that things would occur that would dull that lens of wonder—a lens that has taken me a while to polish again. So here are the things I wish I could have told my ten-year-old self.

#1. Heartbreak will occur.
You will meet men you will fall completely in love with. You will meet men that feel like they are everything you want, and then things will happen that will change your mind about them. It will hurt. It will feel like you did something wrong, and you will try to change yourself in order to be what that man wants, what will make things “okay.” But things will end sometimes, and that is okay.

You will get through it. You will learn about yourself every time, and you will reinforce what you want for the next one, and your choices will get better and better. You will be okay, and you will be happy.

#2. You will lose people in your life.
There are some people who are not meant to stay in your life. You will lose some people. It can be due to distance, due to the fact you stopped talking, due to the fact you realized they were not good for you, and many more.

You will lose people you love more than anything, and that is okay, because you made it, because you are okay now, and you are now glad you are where you are now.

#3. There will be physical changes and ailments.
Your body will grow, and with growth you will get all sorts of sensations, all sorts of illnesses that will come and go, all sorts of energy level changes, and even sensations you cannot explain which will cause anxiety.

At times you will hate your body; at times you will love it. At times you will feel like you are dying from pain; at other times you will feel like this body is the best thing ever.

All of those are normal, and you will get through those sensations—and all of those which are still coming. You stand here healthy, happy.

#4. You see what you create in others.
A very important lesson I learned the hard way is that you will see people the way you paint them up in your mind. You will paint some people in your mind like they are amazing, kind, caring, perfect—and they will behave like the opposite. This will confuse you. You will ignore the signs that they are not who you think they are and keep painting them in the way you want them to be, to then be disappointed or upset.

You will need to learn to get over that. You will come to see that people are who they are, and the majority are actually very nice and caring people. To paint them like something they are not in your head will, however, cause problems for you, upsets, and disagreements. Learn to see people like they are and love them for their good.

#5. Overwhelm is normal.
You will go through a lot, and very often it will feel like it is too much. You will feel like you want to give up. You will feel like everything is set out to get you. Sometimes it will feel like you have not done enough, or that you have done too much.

You will feel weak when you feel overwhelmed. You will feel like something is wrong with you, and you will think to yourself, “Why am I this way? Why have I failed?” But you must learn to be kinder to you.

Overwhelm is normal, and there is nothing wrong with you. Take it one step at a time, handle one thing at a time and you will come

#6. Starting from scratch is okay.
Your life will change—multiple times, in multiple ways. You will have to start again, many times. During those times it is very important that you are kind to yourself. You did not fail; you did not do anything wrong.

Things change, situations change, your emotions change, your feelings change, your attitude toward others will change—and will continue to change, probably for the rest of your life.

This is okay. You are not wrong, you are not too much, you are allowed to have fresh starts—and in fact, you should enjoy them. Things get fun, trust me.

#7. Not all people are worth helping sometimes.
You are a lover of help. You love to help people, and this is something you should never, ever change. It makes you who you are.

But you need to know that there are some people out there who will abuse your help. They will make you feel kind and loved from your help but then go and betray your trust. It will happen. And it's in your nature to help, but you will have to learn that there are some people who—no matter how many times you offer help—will either not really take it or abuse it.

You are doing great. Do not change because of that.

#8. You cannot control everyone and everything.
There will be times in which you feel anxious about how things are going or how some people are behaving. You will feel like you must absolutely control everything so completely that nothing can get past you.

You are most certainly in control of your life, and you can control the way others see you and the effects you cause on others, but you cannot always control their actions. You need to learn to let go.

Let people be who they are. Help them as you see fit, but let them be their own selves too—that is what really matters. You will notice you feel a lot more free when you do so.

#9. You own your emotions, and you are the artist of your future.
There will be times when you will think, “Why do I need to do this at all?” You will feel like there is no point anymore, that it’s too late, that you are getting too old, that you are too young, that you are late or early.

Just always remember—your emotions are valid. They always are and always will be. What you feel is the most important part of you, and you need to own that. You create your own emotions. You can control them or let them go astray, and you are the artist of your own future. Do not ever let anyone else run your actions or emotions.

Be who you are—unapologetically. And for those who do not like it, farewell.

#10. Resting does not mean being lazy.
Sometimes you will need to take a break. Take a week of doing nothing. Spend a whole weekend in bed eating and playing video games or watching your favorite movies/series.

Do not let anyone tell you that you are lazy. You are as productive as you want to be, and resting for a while does not mean you are lazy. Rest is important. Take it when you need it.

#11. It is okay to ask for help.
You are strong, you are hard-headed, and you are very self-sufficient.

These are all good qualities, but you will encounter points in your life where it will feel like you cannot take it all, you cannot handle it all. And unfortunately, during those moments, you will feel weak. You will feel like you are not enough.

That is not true.

It is okay to ask for help. You love to help everyone, so please let yourself be helped too. There is nothing wrong with that—ever.

#12. You are allowed to change yourself and your mind.
Once you’ve made up your mind about something or even someone, you are allowed to change your mind. Once you’ve made up your mind about an action, an agreement, a plan—you are allowed to change it.

Keep your promises once made, but know that if you feel like you are changing your mind about your viewpoint on things, on people, on actions—that is okay. Let yourself live life. Life is full of that, and you must enjoy it.

#13. Being loving and caring does not mean you are naive.
Some people will tell you at random points in your life that the way you love and help others sometimes is too much. That you are being played with. That you are naive and nobody deserves that love, care, and help.

This is not true. The fact that you can love, care, and help as much as you do is a sign of your strength—not a weakness. Always remember that.

#14. Having fun in life is never a red flag or “childish.”
You have now, and will continue to have, an attitude toward life which most of the time looks like that of a child. You adorn everything around you with a thought. You play with life itself.

Do not ever let anyone tell you that it’s a red flag or that it is “childish.” You do not need to come down to earth.

You make your own damn planet and live in it.

#15. Do not care about what everyone thinks about you.
The way other people view you is important—especially if there is an image of you that you want to portray. Defend the image you want of yourself and do not let anyone soil your own image. But you also have to understand some people are just not right for you.

Some people just want to bring you down, and you must not let them. Play with your image. Create in that joy of who you are, and let others see you for who you are. Defend yourself when you feel you need to, but never, ever, let yourself be hit by the bad ones.

Not everyone can see you properly, and that does not mean there is something wrong with you.

#16. Never doubt your intuition.
There will be times in life when you will be lied to. Secrets will be kept from you.

You will know, though… You will know somehow that it’s occurring. You will know how some things are even if you are not part of it. You will know when someone is lying to you. You will know when secrets are kept from you.

When you try to confront them, you will be told you are crazy. You will be told it’s not true. This will make you doubt yourself over and over. Do not do that—ever. You will realize you are righter than you think.

One thing that nobody can ever take from you is your viewpoints, your thoughts, your intuition, your force. That is always right for you. Trust it.

#17. All that matters is your magic wand.
Life is full of ups and downs. Good people and bad people. Good emotions and bad emotions. Joy and pain. Love and loss.

You will go through it all—some of it simple, some of it so rough you will feel like you cannot go on.

But always remember one thing, the most important thing and lesson of this whole letter…

All that matters is your magic wand. All that matters is how you use it. You control life. You control your emotions, your viewpoints, your decisions.

If things get rough, if things seem like it’s not worth it anymore, always remember: you have your own magic, and you can make things not only seem better but become better.

You are powerful. Act like it.